Last night, I was unhappily surprised when my roommate decided to bring home a Christmas tree. Not that I dislike Christmas by any means, but it was a real tree. Real trees are a pain. I told him he should have bought a fake tree so that we didn’t have to worry about pine needles and fire hazards.
He proceeded to harass me, calling me Scrooge and saying not having a real tree as a child explains why I am so weird.
In an ironic twist of fate, I wake up this morning to see a figure that somewhat resembled my roommate. The only difference was his eyes were swollen shut and he was red all over. Unbeknown to him, he was allergic to pine trees.
He said he is going to Walmart today to get a fake tree.